


Ara ma'athlan vhenas (I will call you home)

by Lafaiette



Series: Solavellan Babies - Fenor and Ashera [16]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, FEELS ENSUE, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Parenthood, Post Trespasser, Restored Elvhenan, Restored Thedas basically, Sexual Content, Solas wants to be the best father ever, but he's scared shitless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:38:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7688272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lafaiette/pseuds/Lafaiette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas is scared of losing this. Of losing her and their son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Solas is still nervous around his son.

It’s not a _bad_ kind of nervous: it’s like he is so overwhelmed by his presence, his existence, that he doesn’t know quite how to act around him.

It’s obvious he is _happy_. Overjoyed, elated beyond description. He watches the child with so much adoration spirits of Love come into their house, attracted by his feelings, just like they do when he watches Scarlet in the same way.

He holds Fenor with great, excessive care, even now that he can walk and talk and isn’t as frail as a newborn anymore. Flustered and awkward, Solas lets him touch him and touches him in return with something much akin to shyness.

Sometimes, after Fenor has successfully managed to climb onto his lap or Scarlet has put him there, Solas stares at him with much intensity, as if looking at his very soul, at his very inner core.

He strokes his ears and caresses his red hair while Fenor babbles words and tells him of the butterflies he saw in the garden; he touches his nose and cheeks, traces his eyebrows, brushes his mouth against his forehead, and closes his eyes, already covered by a veil of tears.

They are happy tears, Scarlet knows that. She also knows that, in occasions like that, Solas is just making sure this is real, that he is not living a dream in the Fade.

He re _settles_ himself, _readjusts_ himself in the new reality they finally created after so much pain, in their cozy world surrounded by the quiet forest and the restored peace.

Then he reopens his eyes, exhales, and smiles at Fenor, before blushing and panicking and gently putting him down.

He does that with Scarlet too, he did that even before Fenor’s birth. He stares at her, touches her, presses himself against her as much as possible, his breathing heavy and his fingers digging nearly painfully into her flesh.

She smiles and hugs him back - even with one arm only - and kisses his neck until his breathing is even again. Then he pulls away - slightly, never too much - and smiles at her. He smiles every day now, without holding back.

He doesn’t let her go, though. He pulls away, yes, but not in a way that indicates he is too flustered and emotional to keep hugging her. The reason usually is that they need to prepare dinner, that Fenor is calling them, or that their bed is waiting for them to continue that embrace in much different ways. He pulls away, but doesn’t _let her go_.

However, he clearly panics with Fenor. He is almost scared by this joy he feels. It’s a fear that Scarlet can see when they are alone too.

Solas wasn’t so nervous when Fenor was still a baby, although he already possessed that fear. He held him, lulled him, and kissed him without refrain - sometimes he even refused to put him in the crib they had so carefully painted for him, preferring to let him sleep in the big bed.

His longing look was often there, especially when he watched Scarlet feed the baby or talk to him, but it wasn’t as bad as now.

Now that the kid is growing up with each passing day, it’s like Solas actually believes he can hurt him or break him. He handles him like he is made of glass, but the longing is always there, the desire to smooch him like Scarlet does, the innate wish of a father to show his child how much he loves him.

Solas is scared of losing this. Of losing her and their son.

But he deserves this happiness. He deserves all the joy this world can produce and she tells him so.

She tells him while they make love. She shows it to him as he thrusts into her and her lips are all over his face; she makes him laugh and giggle and snorts with tickling touches and sincere compliments; she sees how peaceful he is as they cook and eat together in front of the fire, Fenor sitting between them.

But that fear is stubborn and doesn’t want to give up. Solas’ hands still shake when Fenor hugs him and he hesitates a lot, as if fearing the child doesn’t want to be touched by him, even though he knows that’s absolutely not true.

In fact, Fenor is the most affectionate child in the world. He constantly looks for his mother’s smooches and his father’s arms wrapped around him.

This needs to change, Scarlet thinks. Otherwise Solas is going to regret it for the rest of his life, which, with magic restored, is going to be quite long, _eternal_.

Fenor, fortunately, hasn’t noticed his father’s odd behavior. Solas’ love shines like a warm beacon despite his hesitation and excessive anxiety and the child is as happy and cheerful as ever around him too. Scarlet can see how relieved Solas is too.

It will be a slow, gradual change, she decides. Nothing too sudden and out of the blue which might scare or upset her husband, but effective enough to ensure that he lets that fear go and fully embraces and accepts this bliss that finally entered his life.

She starts one evening during dinner, as they sit in front of the fireplace as rain gently falls outside their cozy, warm cottage.

Solas has summoned orange orbs of light, which float in the air providing a relaxing and comfortable mood. The entire house is filled with the tasty smell of food cooked in the oven; the sweet flowers and herbs hanging above the fireplace and the stove in the kitchen add another pleasant fragrance.

Scarlet observes her family and her heart swells with love and indescribable joy.

She and Solas are sitting on the soft furs in front of the roaring fireplace, colorful dishes surrounding them, filled with the food they prepared together.

They love doing that - before Fenor’s birth, their time in front of the stoves and oven turned into games in bed or on the kitchen floor. Now they make their son laugh and giggle or chastely play with each other, promising to do more later in the Fade.

Fenor’s hunger seems endless. He is a quite florid child, although the chubbiness of early infancy is already leaving his limbs, and the crimson hue of his cheeks is beaten only by the red hair that he inherited from Scarlet.

His gray-blue eyes and sharp nose totally come from Solas and he looks around with his same attention, watching his parents eat and talk with great curiosity.

He is drinking the warm concoction of milk and honey that they prepared for him out of his favorite bottle, but it won’t be enough to satiate him, so a tasty puree of vegetables is waiting for him too.

“I think we should paint the wall of the corridor leading to our rooms, _vhenan_.” Solas muses, stirring a portion of butter soup inside a wooden bowl carved with elven motifs. “It is the only part of the house not yet painted.”

Scarlet hums, a knowing, tender smile on her lips. She looks at her husband while bringing her own spoon of soup to her mouth and asks: “What would you like to draw there?”

Solas’ smile is equally sweet, but also somewhat roguish and she giggles when he brushes his mouth, still humid with soup, against her cheek.

“Mh… What about us?”

She gasps, surprised. The rest of the house is decorated with flowers, lush forests, clear skies filled only with a few white clouds and sunlight, and wolves.

Those, the wolves, are what usually represents their family; Solas painted portraits of himself, Scarlet, and Fenor only on canvas and his sketchbooks.

“You mean _us_? Like… like this?” she gestures at her body with her only hand and he chuckles, rubbing his nose on her.

“Exactly like we are, _vhenan_. You and I and our son.” He looks down at Fenor and his smile broadens when he sees how intensely he is staring at them. “Would you like that, _da’fen_?”

The child giggles and Solas is visibly torn between drowning him in kisses and leaving him alone.

He does the latter, even though the child never complains when he is hugged or kissed, except for when he is fussy or wants food above anything else.

“We could also leave some space for more children.” Solas adds softly and this time Scarlet is left speechless. She gawks at him, face red, while her husband grins happily with cheeks as glowing as hers.

Then she starts giggling and hides her face behind her hand, but Solas moves it away to kiss her cheeks and lips.

“Not now, of course.” he says, remembering how tiresome the moment of Fenor’s birth was for her body, despite the restored magic. “We can wait all the time we want.”

The modifications they made to make sure all the races could live in Thedas changed some things and even though elves are now more powerful than they have ever been in the past centuries, some of their strength and powers have not come back.

Scarlet’s body went through much stress during Fenor’s birth and the last thing Solas wants is to see her hurt or worse.

But he can see how happy his offer made her. She is still giggling, a young wife and mother in love, then she laughs harder when she tries to imagine the corridor with her face painted on it.

“I’d love that.” she says in the end, tears of mirth in her golden eyes. She hid her face against Solas’ chest and she is now looking up at him.

Her smile grows bigger and she rests her hand on his thigh, eliciting a sharp intake of breath and gleaming eyes full of tenderness and playfulness.

“Both the painted corridor and another child in the future, I mean.”

“Food!”

The couple pulls away. Fenor is requesting their attention, his full lips pursed into a pout and his blue eyes glaring with all the annoyance a child like him can muster.

“You are right, _da’vhenan_!” Scarlet laughs, leaning down to smooch his face. “We have to take care of you first!”

“Food!”

“Food, yes.” She sees the bottle he emptied in record time, then glances at the warm puree they made for him. Solas’ words have made her heart race so fast she almost forgot about her plan.

Usually, she is the one holding Fenor while Solas feeds him with a spoon. Other times, when she is wearing the prosthetic arm Dagna made for her, she helps him eat while Solas feeds her and continues eating as well, a mechanism of different hands and arms working together.

This time, though, she isn’t wearing the fake arm and she knows Solas expects her to put Fenor on her lap so he can begin feeding him.

She smiles brightly, picks the child up with her hand only, and puts him on her husband’s legs.

Solas freezes while Fenor, completely unfazed by the changed routine, demands food a third time, hungrier than a wolf.

He finds a sort of wobbly balance on Solas’ legs, but it won’t last long.

“Solas.” Scarlet says softly, her smile still there. “Can you hold him today? He is getting quite heavy.”

It’s not true of course, Fenor is as heavy as a _feather_ , but Solas doesn’t reply and nods instead.

His hands are shaking, but he brings them on his son’s waist and there they stay, while he stays still, tense like a statue and equally silent.

“Here comes the dragon!” Scarlet exclaims, raising high the spoon and bringing it near to Fenor’s mouth. The child immediately opens it and before she can play with him and pulls the spoon back, he has already taken its content.

“Goodness.” she mumbles, blinking in shock at him. Then she giggles while the child munches happily. “Solas, are you sure he is not half-wolf?”

He snorts, finally smiling, and seems to relax a little. Right then, Fenor seems to realize where he is sitting and tilts his head upwards to look at him.

“Papae!” he calls and Solas’ face lightens up so much it would be enough to illuminate the whole house.

“Hello, _da’fen_.” he says, then he tickles his ear and Fenor giggles, catches his hand, and gnaws on his fingers, slobbering on them.

“That is not food.” Solas gently chides him, freeing his hand and cleaning it on the furs. “Now be a good cub and let Mamae feed you.”

“Mamae!” Fenor calls, bouncing excitedly as she grins at him and gives him the spoon again.

“Papae is very comfortable, isn’t he, _da’fen_?” she asks. She sees Solas’ surprised expression, but she focuses on Fenor, who beams at her and then at his father.

“Papae soft.” he agrees and Solas blushes, looking almost on the verge of tears. He makes a low sound and hides his face in the child’s unruly hair. Fenor giggles again.

“Papae sleep!” he announces, but Solas tickles his belly and mumbles: “Papae is awake, you little rascal.”

Fenor laughs again and Solas’ shoulders begin to shake, but Scarlet knows he is laughing with him, not crying. Or perhaps he is doing both, but she knows they are not sad tears.

She continues to feed Fenor while their soup cools a little. She makes funny sounds and faces, pokes his nose with the spoon, and tells him to chew slowly.

Solas raises his head after a short while and his eyes are indeed bloodshot, but there is a warm smile on his face and his hands aren’t trembling anymore. He is still holding the child with great care and it looks like he finally has no intention of letting him go.

Fenor follows the spoon with a predator-like gaze. Once he is older, Scarlet mused once, he is going to devour everything he finds in the kitchen.

For now, Solas’ frilly cakes and her hearth cakes are safe, but the little one has already spotted the cupboard where the sugar from Rivain is kept and the jar where the sweet apples from Ferelden are stashed.

Solas is staring at him like he did other times before, with that soft gaze that indicates how incredulous he feels. He is _readjusting_ himself again, convincing himself that this is indeed true and really happening.

He raises his eyes to Scarlet and she smiles at him, before leaning in to kiss him. Fenor can’t reach the spoon, so he starts complaining and she draws back with a laugh.

“So demanding! Here, here, don’t pout at your Mamae.”

She is about to bring the spoon near his mouth again, when Solas covers his eyes and the child makes a surprised sound, tensing up.

Scarlet lets out a gasp, faking horror, and exclaims: “Oh no! What shall we do now? Where did the spoon go?”

Solas is smiling again, almost grinning, and Fenor looks dumbfounded. Then he flails his arms, moves his tiny hands to his face and finds his father’s hand covering it.

“Papae!” he giggles and Solas laughs with him, bowing down to press a kiss on the top of his head.

“Where is the spoon, _da’fen_?” he asks while Scarlet, doing her best not to roll on the floor laughing, moves the puree in front of the child’s face in a circular way.

Fenor purses his lips, twists them as he focuses with all his might, then even sniffs the air, causing his parents to laugh harder until he is laughing again too.

Then he sighs and gives up, flailing a second time.

“Food!” he demands with all the power and influence he can gather in his voice and expression.

Probably the only occasion he isn’t the sweetest child in Thedas or a timid blushing cub is when he wants to eat at all costs.

“Alright.” Solas chuckles, removing his hand. Fenor squeals in delight as soon as he spots the spoon and Scarlet hurries to put it in his mouth before he destroys them both with another effective pout.

In the end, after a few more games and jokes, Fenor finishes all the puree and gently asks to be put on the furs again to play with the stuffed plushes his mother sewed for him.

“Papae, kiss.” he requests before joining his plushes and Solas gives it to him, blushing so hard Scarlet fears he is going to faint soon.

There is only joy on his face, though, which increases when Fenor asks her to give him a kiss as well and she does so, nuzzling his cheeks and pressing open-mouth smooches on them.

They continue their dinner while the little one plays with his toys. Solas warms the soup, which cooled down too much, with magic and moves closer to Scarlet, touching her thigh once his bowl is empty and his hands free.

They discuss about the new flowers growing in the garden, the new areas added to the restored Vir Dirthara, the friends they want to visit, the books piling in the room Solas uses to paint and read, the long quilt Scarlet has just started sewing.

Then it’s time for dessert and Solas turns into a child: his eyes sparkle and there is a boyish grin on his face as he chooses the first tart of the evening.

Fenor immediately notices the presence of new, _sweet_ food and hurries to wobble back to his parents, staring at the tarts with gluttonous eyes and a huge smile.

Scarlet starts giggling, touched by the similarities her husband and son share.

“What?” Solas babbles, stopping munching, sugar and chocolate smeared all over his lips.

She shakes her head and licks the chocolate away from a corner of his mouth; they smile at each other for a long moment, then Fenor catches their attention by putting his hands on the dish where the tarts are.

“Food! Mamae, food!”

“No, little cub.” Scarlet chides him, gently freeing the dish from his grasp. “You can’t eat them all. Only a little piece, alright?”

That’s enough for Fenor. He is still smiling, content, and Scarlet tears in half the lightest tart that certainly won’t hurt his tummy and give him a stomachache. He is still delicate, after all.

She starts giving him little bites one by one to make sure he will chew them well, then changes her mind and grins at Solas.

“Mamae fed you before, so now it’s Papae’s turn!”

She gives the tart to him and Solas hurries to take it; Fenor’s attention immediately turns to him and the child crawls to his legs, reaching for his hands.

“Papae!”

Slowly, his eyes fixated on him again, Solas begins giving him the small pieces of sweet food again. His expression is soft, not sad, but happy and melancholic at the same time.

Again, it’s like he has to convince himself that this is really true and at the same time he can’t believe it is because he feels he doesn’t _deserve_ it.

Scarlet rests her hand on his thigh like he did before and kisses his shoulder, watching him give the tart to their son while the rain falls with a lulling sound outside their warm home.

Solas’ hands are shaking again and he tenses up, inhaling sharply, every time Fenor grins at him and plays with his fingers after taking a bite of tart.

He smiles at the child and love shines in his eyes and pours out of his mouth when he talks to him, but he looks about to shatter and his breathing is slightly labored.

Scarlet grows worried and she discreetly watches Solas for the whole time to make sure he won’t feel sick. He acted like this before, but it wasn’t _so bad_.

She is about to intervene, but Fenor finishes the tart almost immediately. His eyelids get heavy and his head wobbles up and down; she delicately cleans his mouth before scooping him up in her only arm, holding him tightly against her chest.

“Let’s go to bed, _da’fen_.” she whispers and she smiles at Solas, reassuring and sweet. As soon as the child left his proximities, he started breathing better, but his forehead is covered by sweat and he looks tired, as if he ran for hours.

But there is only pure love on his face as they put Fenor in his crib, which they painted together before his birth.

His room is painted with wolves running in a colorful forest and many books of tales and stories are lined up on the bookshelves, together with more plushes and toys given to him by his uncles and aunts.

Some of his friends are waiting for him in the crib and innocuous, curious wisps of the Fade lingers above him, watching the scene without bothering the child.

“Have a good night, _da’vhenan_.” Scarlet murmurs, kissing his forehead. Solas does the same and passes a hand over the child’s face, ensuring he will have only good dreams in the Fade. They will check on him there soon anyway.

“Goodnight, _da’fen_.” he says softly, choked up, and then Fenor opens slowly his eyes, using all his strength to keep them open.

“Mamae. Papae.” he slurs. “ _Lath_. _Lath_.”

“Oh, little heart!” Scarlet exclaims in a soft, happy voice. She beams at him and brushes back his red hair. “We love you too. _Ar lath, da’vhenan_.”

Fenor smiles back and immediately falls back asleep. Scarlet watches him some more, her whole being filled with warmth and light, then she sees Solas’ hands on the edge of the crib.

They are trembling and before she can turn to him, he has already left the room with wide, fast strides.

“Solas!” she gasps, hurrying to follow him. She doesn’t close the room of Fenor’s room, knowing he might join them in bed later, but even if they had usually kept it close, she wouldn’t have thought about closing it the same.

She is worried, _terribly_ worried, and she panics even more once she finally joins Solas in their bedroom. She also feels guilty, because she let him feed Fenor and perhaps he didn’t feel ready, he didn’t feel good and now he…

He is crying, his body shaken by loud, heavy sobs, his back turned to the door as if he couldn’t even reach the edge of the bed in time.

She saw him like this only before the Restoration, when he thought he had lost her. But it’s the first time, since the start of their new life together, that she had seen him shed tears of _sorrow_.

Because these are definitely tears of sadness, of fear, of despair. He only cried because of joy and relief and love in the past few years and seeing him suffer again breaks her heart more than words can describe. She feels like dying.

“My love!” she exclaims, running next to him. She rests her hand on his shoulder and he finally turns to her.

Now she is certain she is going to die. He looks terrified and terribly anguished and she takes his hand, tears filling her own eyes too.

Solas keeps sobbing, awkwardly trying to hide his tears-stained face with his other hand, but then he melts and seeks comfort into her embrace. He cries harder against her shoulder and Scarlet slowly and gently strokes his nape and back.

He holds her, arms wrapped tightly around her, and she rubs her cheek on his, giving him all the time he needs and murmuring words of love and reassurance. His sobs start to subside after a while and only hiccups and sniffles remain.

Scarlet waits a little more, then kisses his neck and says, her voice a kind whisper echoing in the comfortable room:

“Come, _ma vhenan_. We will talk in bed.”


	2. Chapter 2

Solas quietly follows her to their bed, gripping her hand tightly like a scared child.

He is still trembling and his breathing is ragged, uneven, as he tries to breathe better through his nose. He raises his other hand to rub his wet eyes, but the tears don’t stop.

“Here.” Scarlet says softly, nodding to the bed covered with the colorful quilts and blankets she sewed and many pillows.

“May we…” Solas takes a deep breath, swallows, then continues timidly: “May we undress first?”

He always loves to feel her skin against his during times like this. He said it helps him accept that this is true and real and that he’s not dreaming.

They have been avoiding doing this since Fenor has learned how to walk and open doors, fearing his sudden entrance in the bedroom, but Solas looks so miserable and frail tonight that she can’t really tell him no.

“Of course.” she smiles softly, then starts to take off her clothes, helped by him.

She helps him in return, standing naked in front of him, and Solas watches her with blazing eyes as her only hand helps his unbutton his shirt.

He looks even more like a lost child now; he sniffles and makes low sounds of inner turmoil as each layer of his clothes falls on the floor and he constantly leans down to brush his lips against Scarlet’s cheek or mouth.

She playfully nibbles at them, eliciting a small smile from him, and every time her heart gets warmer and she hopes his does too.

Once they are naked, he pulls her into his arms and holds her like that for many minutes, breathing with his face pressed against her neck and his fingers leaving white marks on her skin.

She kisses his neck and murmurs loving words into his ear; he starts crying quietly again, but seems to recover sooner than before and she rubs her hand on his back one last time before drawing back and leading him to bed.

He obediently follows her and slips under the sheets with her without saying a word. He remembers to activate the rune he cast under the bed to warm it and soon the blankets and pillows are more comfortable than ever, especially with the rain still falling outside, covering their house and the forest around it in a soothing cover of silver droplets.

Scarlet fixes the sheets and blankets, making sure Solas is comfortable, before cuddling next to him.

His arms and legs immediately move to pull her closer and they are soon hugging each other, their tangled limbs making them look like a single entity.

“ _Ma vhenan_.” she says, pressing a tender kiss on his cleft chin. “Tell me everything.”

Solas hesitates. He plays with her hair, nuzzles her face, breathes her scent, but doesn’t talk. He just watches her, his sad, wet eyes twisting her stomach into a knot, and she does her best to comfort him with her only hand.

Then he finally speaks, a low sound nearly muted by the rain.

“What if the child hates me in the future?” he says. “He will discover everything once he is older. He will leave the forest and will learn what I was trying to do, what I _did_ and…”

He whines, the noise a prelude to a wail, and he presses his face against her chest, shoulders shaking again. Scarlet kisses his head, her long fingers rubbing the soft skin of his nape.

“He will hate me. He will remember every kiss and hug I gave him and he will feel disgusted. He will think of his childhood and feel only hatred and horror for me.”

“No, Solas, no!” Scarlet says desperately, hurrying to lift his face. Her eyes are already swelling with tears, while Solas has started crying again, his own eyes red and swollen.

“ _Ma sa’lath_. _Ma uthlath_. Don’t say that. Don’t ever think that.” she continues, rubbing her thumb on his left eye to at least dry the tears there. His breathing is heavy like before and he is hot to the touch, almost feverish.

“Fenor loves you and he always will.” She presses soft kisses all over his face and Solas slowly starts to relax. She smiles, tracing the line of his eyebrow. “Just like I love you and always will.”

Solas smiles back, but he is still terribly scared and his hands are shaking again, she can feel them.

So she resumes her cuddles and her mouth dries those tears her fingers couldn’t reach before.

“He will understand what happened, why you did what you did. He won’t hate you. If anything, he will love you and respect you even more.”

She sighs, pulling him back against her chest. He adjusts himself comfortably, his warm mouth pressed on her right breast, the touch chaste, but also sweet, because he plants there tiny, loving, thankful kisses.

“Solas.” she continues, pressing her own kisses onto his head like before. “These years won’t come back. Fenor will grow and you will regret not having hugged, pampered, and kissed him more. You _earned_ this, _vhenan_. You have to believe me when I say this.”

He doesn’t reply, but Scarlet knows he is listening intently. She gently frees herself from his embrace, just enough to move at his same eye level and smile at him.

Then she promptly goes back into his arms, which tighten so much around her she knows he won’t let her go again.

He _never_ lets her go and she is so, so happy for that.

“Believe me.” she whispers, her smile broadening. He watches her, his eyes shining in the dark room just like hers; he quietly watches her, taking all the reassurances she is giving him and doing everything he can to finally accept them.

“You broke so many chains and freed so many people.” she says, pride and love in her voice. “It’s time to break your chains too, Solas. You are _free_ now.”

She feels tears prickle her eyes and Solas’ are swelling with them again, so she keeps going before she starts crying too hard: “Stop worrying about the past and the future. You don’t have to fight anymore. We are here, _vhenan,_ we are here for you and you will never be alone.”

Solas is sobbing now and she hurries to hug him so he won’t feel embarrassed. He cries against her shoulder, but she knows these tears are tears of relief and joy now, devoid of any of the despair and fear he felt before.

He calms down soon and when he raises his head again, he is smiling and his hands move to cup Scarlet’s face and stroke her cheeks.

“ _Ma vhenan_.” she says, giggling as he kisses her nose. He sniffles, his smile bigger and his eyes shining with happiness, not tears.

He turns serious and for a moment panic flashes over his face.

“May we wait some time before telling him everything? I… I know it will be easier once he is older, but the whole story narrated all of a sudden might…”

“Of course.” Scarlet kisses the freckles on his shoulder, then looks at him, smiling. “One step at a time, Solas. There is no hurry. We can start by visiting the village outside the forest, then we could use the eluvians and go to Dorian or Varric first.”

She sees the brief moment of panic in his eyes and hurries to add: “Without visiting the cities, where people can recognize us and follow us everywhere. We will stay in their house.”

Solas smiles gratefully at her and immediately relaxes, his right hand following the forms of her body that he knows so well and stopping right above her butt. She giggles again.

“What about our history lessons? The books already contain accounts and descriptions of the Restoration.”

He looks terribly indecisive and confused, a rare sight. During the time of the Inquisition, he was usually the one who offered solutions, explanations, ideas even in the darkest of times and Scarlet, young as she was, and the rest of the Inquisition gladly listened to him.

Now he has to deal with things he never dealt with before and he loves his family and this life they have built together so much that the mere idea of losing them freezes him and his mind, and he can barely think.

Scarlet, now wife and mother, has found a new type of maturity and wisdom, different from the one she acquired while she was Inquisitor.

She patiently finds solutions to the little problems Solas obsesses over - is the child eating too much? Can this or that hurt him somehow? How do you lull him so he will burp after eating? - and sometimes they panic together, but they always find the answer they need and whenever Solas starts to fear he isn’t good enough, Scarlet intervenes.

“We won’t use those books for our history lessons.” she says, gently pushing Solas on his back and resting on him. His other hand brushes and combs her red hair, while the other rests affectionately on her butt.

“I believe we are knowledgeable enough to teach him what happened in Thedas without those.” she chuckles, then deliberately moves one leg up until her knee is touching a special part of Solas that is slowly coming to life.

She wants to take care of him and eliminate any trace of tears from his eyes.

He blushes and smiles excitedly, even timidly, as she traces his jawline with her lips and murmurs: “You could teach him magic, while I geography and sewing. Oh!”

She lightens up, struck by an idea, and adds: “We could teach him how to write in the Common Tongue and all the different variants of Elvhen together! You know, ancient Elvhen, but also the new modern one!”

Solas begins to knead her butt and he looks touched, his smile tender.

“That would be marvelous.” he agrees and Scarlet stops teasing his manhood for a moment to go back to the main topic.

She traces his lips and nose with her index finger and he hums happily, relaxed by her caress, as she says:

“Let yourself go, Solas. Love our son without restraints and don’t worry anymore. Alright?”

She kisses his nose, waiting for an answer with a blinding smile, and he nods, two dimples on his cheeks.

“Good!” she giggles, before crawling down along his body until she is under the sheets and face to face with his cock. Solas gasps and flails a little, but doesn’t stop her.

He is the one who usually kisses and licks her between her legs; he doesn’t like seeing her kneeling before him and he is always scared of hurting her somehow, so giving him oral is a precious and rare treat that Scarlet treasures every time.

“May I?” she asks, ready to stop in any moment, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Solas looks at her, making sure she isn’t kneeling on the bed, but lying flat on her stomach instead.

Once he is reassured that her pose isn’t demeaning or mortifying, he clears his throat and casts a spell to envelop the room with a sound-proof barrier, a spell they used many times before since Fenor’s birth. They tend to be quite _loud_ in bed and the last thing they want is him to hear everything.

He also summons some ice to block the door handle, in case Fenor comes rushing in to sleep with them, something that happened times before, fortunately never while they were busy under the sheets.

“Yes.” he says in the end, smiling shyly, but excitedly, and Scarlet giggles again before taking him in her mouth.

He punctually moans, already bucking slightly, and she tenderly sucks the tip, making sure to fondle his balls with her only hand.

She still feels quite inexperienced at this, but she is enthusiastic as usual and doesn’t give up. Solas gasps and calls her name, his fingers tangled in her hair, and she feels proud and relieved.

When she raises her eyes to watch him squirm and moan in pleasure, she sees him looking at her, mouth and eyes open wide, and she blushes, overwhelmed by her shyness that never went away.

She pulls away with a wet ‘pop’ which makes Solas groan and bite his lips, then asks: “Is this alright?”

“ _Vhenan_ …” he breathes out, brushing his thumb down her cheek. His face is so flushed and his forehead so sweat he looks like he is having a bad fever, but she sees the playful twinkle in his eyes, the slightly raised corners of his mouth, the pleasure written on every part of his middle-aged face.

She timidly brings her lips back to the tip of his manhood, without breaking eye contact, and Solas’ body jolts as he whines and tilts his head backwards, falling back against the pillows.

“Scarlet…!” he gasps, tugging gently, but insistently at her hair. “I’m going to… I…”

She engulfs his cock with her mouth, pressing her tongue flat against it while her hand strokes it up and down. She hums softly, enjoying the pungent taste, then sucks gently, prompting Solas to cry out in sheer bliss and come into her mouth.

She swallows it all, regains her breath, and slowly crawls back into Solas’ arms, helped by him. He doesn’t waste a second, not even now that they have all the time in the world, and hurries to kiss her and bring a hand between her legs to give her pleasure.

“Thank you, _vhenan_.” he croaks out, still lost in the stupor of his orgasm. He doesn’t seem bothered by the taste of his cum and kisses her again, swallowing her laughter and moans as his fingers tease her entrance.

“Are you feeling better?” she asks as they make love, their pace slow, without hurry, every feeling and kiss enhanced by the coziness of their bed and the tenderness they touch each other with.

“Yes.” He presses tiny, feather-light pecks on her face while she makes little sounds of pleasure every time his cock hits the sweet spot inside her. “Better than ever, my love.”

He smiles sheepishly at her, but doesn’t look away and adds: “I am sorry for…” He clears his throat and his smile turns into an embarrassed, ashamed grimace. “For crying like that.”

“Hush, silly wolf.” She kisses his eyes, happy to finally find them dry, and smiles at him. “I’m glad we finally talked about this.”

“So am I.”

He suddenly grins and Scarlet knows what that means: he is about to start a game and she doesn’t even have the time to chide him or brace herself, that he is already sucking the skin of her neck, ready to leave a hickey there.

“Solas!” she laughs, squirming in his tight embrace. She has always been ticklish and right now he is doing his best to tease even more than usual. “Not too high!”

“Don’t worry, _emma lath_.” he says innocently, licking apologetically the dark bruise forming on her skin. He gives her a smug, roguish grin. “I will leave more marks where our son cannot see them.”

She hums, already looking forward to it, and in the end she makes sure to leave hickeys on him as well, while also arousing him again with the promise of a future pregnancy, in an endless future where her body has completely recovered from her first one.

Solas _worshipped_ her even more than usual when she was pregnant and they remember quite well the long hours spent in bed, both going crazy with pleasure and the joy of finally being parents.

“Not now, though.” Solas insists after their umpteenth orgasm, achieved thanks to the healing and restoring magic he has used on them to chase away the soreness and tiredness. “It is still too dangerous.”

He pours the contraceptive potion they keep in a drawer of their desk into a small cup and helps her drink it, kissing her cheek once she is finished.

“Soon.” she says softly, smiling, her cheeks red again, and Solas smiles too, before leaning down to kiss her belly.

“Soon.” he repeats, then helps her get up. They put on their nightclothes again and change the sheets, tossing the dirty ones in a corner of the room, in case Fenor will come and ask to sleep with them.

As soon as they are under the blankets again, Solas removes the sound spell from the walls of the room and the ice from the door handle, smiling when he feels Scarlet’s lips on his cheek.

“Sleep, my husband.” she says, resting her head on his chest. “Sleep and dream of all the things you are going to do with our son.”

Solas closes his eyes, one hand on Scarlet’s hair, the other resting on hers, and feels better, as if the shackles that have been tied to his wrists and feet for millennia finally fallen.

His timid voice breaks the silence of the room and the noise of the rain still falling outside.

“Do… do you think he would like to paint with me?”

He feels Scarlet smile and nod against his chest.

“Of course, _vhenan_. I am sure he would love that.”

Solas hums happily and is about to enter the Fade, smiling as he imagines Fenor trying to eat his paint.

But then a thought hits him. He swallows, gathers all his courage, and slowly leaves the bed.

“Solas?” Scarlet asks, concerned, but he reassures her with a kiss and leaves the room without making any sound.

He returns almost immediately, carrying a half-asleep Fenor and looking ashamed and rather anxious.

“I… I woke him up.” he stammers, hurrying to get back inside the bed. Fenor is rubbing his eyes, pouting, but fortunately he isn’t on the verge of tears. Yet.

“I wanted to let him sleep with us, but…” Solas stops, the confidence he had before already crumbling, so Scarlet takes his hand and kisses its knuckles, before placing it on Fenor.

“He will fall back asleep easily. You can help him.”

Solas calms down a bit, but he still looks guilty. The child sighs, staring at the ceiling and then at his parents, sleepiness getting back into his eyes, but not enough to let him reach the Fade again.

“Forgive me, _da’fen_. I did not mean to awaken you.” Solas passes a hand over his face, ready to use the spell he cast before when they put the child in his crib, the one he uses every night to ensure he will have a good experience in the Beyond.

“Here, let me…”

“Wait!”

Scarlet fixes Fenor’s pillow and adjusts the little one under the warm sheets and blankets before smiling at her surprised husband and saying:

“Sing for him.”

Solas opens his mouth, but no sound comes out.

“Sing for him!” Scarlet chuckles, tugging at his sleeve to make him snap out of it.

“But… the spell is more effective.” he babbles, a crimson blush spreading all over his face and neck.

“Is it?” Scarlet smiles, quirking an eyebrow, and Solas doesn’t know what to say. After a few seconds spent looking at their son, he insists softly, his voice nearly a whisper: “He will fall asleep faster with it.”

“Let him hear your voice.” She brings his hand back on Fenor’s chest and rests hers upon his. “Guide him to the Fade with it.”

Solas hesitates. He rarely sings: he prefers to hum old, forgotten tunes when he is busy painting or writing. Scarlet is the one who sings for Fenor and even though she doesn’t consider her singing voice that good, both her husband and son like it a lot, so she never stopped.

She usually sings the lullaby of her childhood, _Mir Da'len Somniar_ , the one her mother always sang for her, or Dalish tunes without mentioning the false gods’ names. Sometimes she also sings human, dwarven, and Qunari songs and the tavern songs Maryden the bard used to sing at Skyhold.

Solas knows ancient lullabies and tunes dating back to ancient Arlathan, but they feel wrong, not suitable for this new age. They are beautiful, but he doesn’t want to give his son something of that time full of darkness, corruption, and violence hidden beneath layers of gold, magic, and glory.

He wants to give him something with a true meaning, something simpler, raw, real, something that can exist even here, in this new world finally restored, but whose glory does not lie in conquered lands and slaves.

He kisses Fenor’s forehead, takes a deep breath, and begins, noticing Scarlet’s surprise and Fenor’s pleased smile.

 

_Elgara vallas, da'len_   
_Melava somniar_   
_Mala taren aravas_   
_Ara ma'desen melar_

_Iras ma ghilas, da'len_   
_Ara ma'nedan ashir_   
_Dirthara lothlenan'as_   
_Bal emma mala dir_

_Tel'enfenim, da'len_   
_Irassal ma ghilas_   
_Ma garas mir renan_   
_Ara ma'athlan vhenas_   
_Ara ma'athlan vhenas_

 

His voice cracks multiple times, but Fenor doesn’t seem to mind and his eyelids slowly drop closed, until he is finally asleep again, just when Solas starts to sing a second time.

“Was… was that good?” he asks bashfully. He raises his eyes to look at Scarlet and finds her crying, a grateful, happy smile on her full lips.

“ _Vhenan_!” he exclaims, but she presses a finger on his mouth before Fenor can awaken again and reassures him with a kiss.

“It was perfect, _ma sa’lath_.” she says and Solas smiles, flustered and flattered; they stare at each other - Fenor sleeping between them with their hands on his chest - and smile until the Fade welcomes them too.

 

\- - - -

 

Scarlet is awakened by laughter and Solas’ voice. It sounds a bit different, so she chases away the sleepiness from her eyes and limbs in no time and sits up.

Solas’ side of the bed is empty, but he left a note on the pillow, illuminated by the bright sunlight entering from the windows.

 

 _Good morning, vhenan_. _Fenor and I are making breakfast. We will try to make something sweet._

 

He also drew a cute drawing of himself and their son waving at her with big smiles and she giggles, folding the piece of paper and placing it on the small table near her side of the bed. Solas often leaves notes like that around the house and she collects them all.

She gets up, fixes her nightgown and hair, and follows Fenor’s cackles and Solas’ voice to the corridor; she stops under the doorframe and a rush of emotions runs through her.

Solas is holding Fenor in his arms with no tension or anxiety at all; peace and enthusiasm shine on his face and he is smooching the child’s face without second thoughts, without hesitating, squishing his cheeks with the intensity of his open-mouthed pecks.

Fenor is giggling, filling the house with his mirthful laughter, and Solas chuckles with him as he nuzzles his nose or kiss his hair.

“ _Ar lath, da’vhenan_.” he says softly and Fenor beams at him, recognizing the elven words.

“ _Lath_.” he replies, touching his face with his little, chubby hands. “ _Lath_ , Papae.”

Solas kisses his cheek again, then sighs and rests his forehead on his, closing his eyes. Fenor keeps touching his face, playing with his ears and mouth, until his father says, smiling amusedly:

“Are you hungry?”

Fenor gasps, the mere mention of food catching his whole attention, and nods frantically. Solas bursts into a carefree, boyish laugh and hugs him tightly.

“Let’s go, then, little wolf.” he chuckles, planting the millionth kiss on his forehead. “Mamae is waiting for breakfast too. We will make something with chocolate, is that alright?”

“Chocolate sounds great.”

Solas turns and both he and Fenor beams at Scarlet, who is now leaning on the doorframe.

“Mamae!” Fenor exclaims, gurgling excitedly, and she goes to them, laughing. She smooches the little one’s face just like his father did, then focuses on Solas. Her eyes are full of happy tears and one rolls down her cheek as she cups Solas’ and kisses him.

“I am so proud of you, _vhenan_.” she says softly and he smiles at her, leaning into her warm palm and pressing a sweet peck on it.

They share another kiss, which causes Fenor to squeal and demand more attention. He pouts at them, cheeks flushed red, but giggles again when both parents descend on him and cover him with many, tickling kisses.

“Would you like to paint the corridor with us, _da’fen_?” Solas asks as they head to the kitchen, Fenor still in his arms.

He sounds almost shy as the asks that question, but the child reacts like any other son would react to an offer like that: he cackles in delight and flails his arms, nodding.

“Drawings!” he says, pointing at the painted walls of the kitchen Solas and Scarlet did together. The figures depicted here are those of flowers, plants, and trees, and the colors are predominantly warm.

“Yes, drawings. We will start with Mamae, what do you say?”

Scarlet gasps and stares at him, speechless, while Solas smiles at her in the same way he smiled before covering her thighs with loving hickeys.

“Does that mean I have to pose?” she asks in a timid voice and when Solas nods, wiggling his eyebrows, she snorts and smacks his arm, eliciting his laughter.

“We will draw you too, of course.” he continues, speaking to Fenor. The child looks enthusiastic and actually quite impatient to begin, surprisingly forgetting about breakfast.

“Papae too.” he says peremptorily. “Papae too!”

“Of course, _da’fen_.” Scarlet says, kissing the top of his head. “Papae will be in the drawing too.”

Solas pulls Scarlet close and wraps an arm around her waist, hugging her as he brings his forehead close to Fenor’s and adds:

“Papae will be always here, _da’fen_. Always here with you and Mamae.”

Fenor gurgles happily and enjoys the hug and kisses his parents give him, letting them hold him tightly and trying to kiss them back in return.

“And I will love you both”, Solas says, smiling brightly, “for all eternity.”

Scarlet kisses his cheek and Fenor beams at him with all the excitement and elation he possesses: in their touches and eyes, Solas sees the same promise he made and he knows he is finally, truly free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it’s complete! This took me so long because of some health issues, but it’s finally here and there is even smut ( ´ ▽ ` ) 
> 
> Solas smooching his son is one of the best mental images in the the world btw.
> 
> I wanted to wait to post this until a certain commission was done, but I guess I'll show it in another Solavellan family fic. I'll never stop writing Papa!Solas and Mama!Scarlet fics, they basically keep me alive at this point. My blood has been replaced by rainbows and chocolate.

**Author's Note:**

> I am back with another Papa!Solas and Mama![Scarlet](http://lafaiette.tumblr.com/scarletlavellan) fic... AND IT'S ANGSTY. THE END IS NIGH. I HAVE TURNED INTO A DEMON.
> 
> But I really wanted to explore this part of Solas' early relationship with his son, [Fenor](http://lafaiette.tumblr.com/tagged/fenor), so here we go ಥ‿ಥ 
> 
> I think he would be SUPER HAPPY to be a father, but also haunted by countless fears. "Will he hate me once he knows what I did and was trying to do?" "What if I am a terrible father?" "I need to know EVERYTHING about babies" " _Ma vhenan_ , can babies eat this? What if I'm poisoning him? Can I hold him like this?" "What if he thinks I'm boring?" 
> 
> Also he is be incredibly amazed by Scarlet's talent and he admires and loves her even more. "MY WIFE IS PERFECT, SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT THE BABY NEEDS, HOW DOES SHE DO THAT"
> 
> The title comes from the Dalish lullaby, [Mir Dalen Somniar](http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Elven_language#Mir_Da.27len_Somniar_-_a_Dalish_Lullaby), found in World of Thedas 2. Also a brief part of this has been inspired by this [post](http://priderising.tumblr.com/post/148163129059)! I am sure Solas would love being a father and want many children or at least more than one <3


End file.
